From a friend's post on another board

Sep 1, 2005 | By Tom LaSusa Tim Wilson

11) Pet owl would attack computer mice and leave deposits on keyboards

10) Wand might misfire at annual meeting, killing shareholders

9) Invisibility cloak would hide him from users, management

8) He'd keep slapping servers and yelling, "Repairum Serviosa!"

7) He'd replace data-center door with portrait of password-hungry fat lady

6) Flame under cauldron would set off fire-suppression system

5) He'd behave too much like a manager, waving wand and expecting results

4) He'd write all his command-line interfaces in Latin

3) He'd keep trying to link PCs via floo network (my personal favorite)

2) Server-room Quidditch. 'Nuff said

1) Would you leave a whiny teenager with identity issues alone in your data center? (Wait, we already have....)