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What a long, strange trip it's been
Jun. 5th, 2005 10:23 pmI am now, at age 43, a married man.
I can't really say that I thought this day would ever come. I've had a few girlfriends whom I thought would be marriage material and a couple of pretty bad heartbreaks from that, but meeting Russet really changed things. It's trite of me to constantly quote lines from movies, but sometimes the lines are just too good. Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets said, "You make me want to be a better man." Heck of a line. I knew from early on that Russ was the woman for me, and Saturday the 4th we made it official.
There were no further serious hiccups on the way to the chapel. The final monkey wrench was a voicemail from my parents at 10:30am. They were at the airport, Dad called and said to check my email. So I went online. The message was pretty short and succinct: my brother was not coming.
I have suspicions as to why, I don't know for certain as I have not yet spoken with him. At least he sent his video camera down. We were able to find someone Thursday to operate it, I haven't seen the tape yet, I hope it's decent. I don't expect it to be any great shakes, I was hoping my brother could put together a pretty good video, but now I doubt that will happen.
My parents arrived Thursday afternoon as did my Best Man, Audrey. My Mom, as previously mentioned, baked the wedding cakes in Phoenix and flew them down. She had no problem getting them past security, but they did suffer slightly in transit. They came over Thursday night for a little dinner at Russet's parent's house, it was a good meeting all-in-all. Russ and I couldn't convince her mother that my parents were fine with casual settings – it seemed that both parents were more concerned about appearances than Russ and I were. Sigh. Her mother brought out the family silver for deli sandwiches.
The meeting of the parents went quite well, my Dad and Brian really hit it off. We set them properly next to each other as they are both deaf in one ear, conveniently it's the opposite, so they didn't have too many problems. I think Brian's accent took a little getting used to for my dad, that was about it.
Thursday night we linked up with Audrey after we got my gear moved to a bed & breakfast down the street called the Shurtleff Cottage. A freakin' amazing place, if you're ever in Oberlin, I would definitely recommend it. It's not cheap at about $125 a night, but it's just gorgeous. I wanted to take pictures of it but just didn't have time.
Apparently Shurtleff was a Union general who formed the first "Colored" Brigade. I don't know much about him, but he survived the Civil War and that is in and of itself a measure of success. Oberlin was the northern terminal of the Underground Railroad and very progressive on ideas of eliminating racism and sexism, I read that they had the first college that accepted both blacks and women.
Russet's father described Ohio as the Northern-most Southern state, the Southern-most Northern state, and the same for East & West. I found the description amusing.
Two other planned arrivals Thursday were Terry & Debora from Omaha, Terry used to be a neighbor to Audrey and I and would fill in as photographer. Deb pitched in a hand on that front also, and I'm glad she did. She got some very good shots. Terry didn't think that they would arrive until probably after 11pm. We get to Audrey's room at the Oberlin Inn (also a good place to stay) and she was on the cell phone with someone and hung up as we arrived. As it turned out, Terry was in the room directly across the hall, he tried to scare Russet but she's pretty unflappable.
So Audrey and I got to introduce Russet to Terry & Deb. We sat around BSing for a good two hours, finally Russ had to get home and to bed, I needed sleep, too. We split up and eventually Friday came.
I walked down to Russet's parent's house Friday AM, got there about 11. She needed me to clean out the back of her car as she would be picking up one of her two out of town guests at the airport, Hope, and Hope's six-month old baby, Joy. Hope was a college roomie who became a general practitioner MD. It took her a while but she made it back in time for our rehearsal that afternoon. My sister and clan and Michelle would arrive later that afternoon and were renting cars, they weren't needed for the rehearsal. Mom and Dad got the cakes back in the freezer Thursday night, so Mom started on finishing up the cakes. I expected it to be about a three hour job, it took seven.
Dad took me to the Inn and dropped me off to meet Hope and Joy. Russ had arranged it for us to have lunch so Hope could get to know me, I walk in to the room and Hope asks me what I like to eat. So I told her pretty much anything except olives and mushrooms. As it turns out I had misheard, she had asked me what I liked to READ.
Sometimes having spotty hearing can be kind of amusing.
I took advantage of Dad taking me to the Inn to show him where the chapel was. Russ took me there the day before, and it is a beaut! Fantastic little place. That afternoon we had the rehearsal, clarified a few spots in the service, and Terry was shooting away with three cameras: two 35mm Olympus OM-1s, a Minolta APS camera, and Audrey's Eos Digital Rebel (all in all, he shot seven rolls of 35mm and two APS, I'll be picking them up Wednesday, all double-printed and scanned to CD).
Thursday night was a dinner for the out-of-towners. Russ and I, my parents, Audrey, Terry & Deb, Michelle, and Hope & Joy. We went to perhaps the best restaurant in town, and I say that in all honesty as they are in the Zagat Survey. It's allegedly a Chinese restaurant, but in reality it's Chinese/American fusion. Regardless of what you care to call the food, it was great! We had a private room literally underground, we started calling it the bomb shelter because it blocked all cell phones.
We spent two and a half hours over dinner and dessert and had much fun. Before appetizers were served, I took the opportunity to embarrass Audrey and present her with a card and her Best Man's present. Allegedly said present is to be given at the bachelor's party, but I didn't want to do it that way. The gift blew her away – a framed single stock for Harley Davidson. It's very pretty.
It really was a continuation of my bachelor party with a slightly different mix of characters.
Once we left the restaurant, my parent's went back to their hotel and the reset of us went back to Audrey & Michelle's room at the Inn for a continuation of the BS. Hope retired as Joy needed to be put to bed, she'd been quite well-behaved throughout dinner. Eventually we broke up, I think it was around 11:30, Audrey drove me back to my B&B as she needed to know where to go in order to pick me up in the AM. We had already taken Russet's dress to Hope's room and my tux to Audrey & Michelle's, so most of our pre-positioning was already in place.
Needless to say, I didn't go straight to sleep. I had been quite pleased and surprised to find a comicbook/game store in Oberlin that also rented DVDs. They had a Kevin Smith DVD that was a compilation of talks, really Q&A sessions, that he'd held at various colleges across the country. Very amusing video, I might buy it if I stumble across a copy. I didn't quite get it finished before I turned in. Very convenient having a laptop that has a DVD drive, though that's now rapidly becoming a standard feature.
Friday dawned with Audrey showing up for breakfast after I'd showered and shaved. We had lots of fun, got me packed up and off to the Inn. It turns out that I'd left the DVD behind, Audrey picked it up later Saturday and returned it for me. Anyway, got to the Inn, got dressed, Michelle touched up my beard trimming, and we got to the chapel about 45 minutes before the wedding.
Aside from making sure everything was ready, we also wanted to get camera equipment unpacked and checked out. This chapel has a cool organ loft in addition to an organ in the front of the chapel, both are pipe organs. Russet's music teacher from the second grade on played piano for us, that was immeasurably cool. It also happened that it was her birthday. So not only was it our wedding day, it was her music teacher's bday, her parent's 53rd anniversary, any my niece Jaclyn's 13th birthday. Pretty cool, eh?
I took my camera (also a Canon Eos Digital Rebel) to the loft along with my laptop and set it up on interval photography, it would take one frame every minute, so I have a sequence of everything. I'm planning on turning it into an MPEG, instant wedding in 40 or 80 seconds.
Eventually the time came. Parents had been seated by Audrey, minister and I go up the side aisle, best man and maid of honor come up the center aisle, the traditional 'Here Comes The Bride' breaks out and Russet is in the doorway, backlit because the outside set of doors to the chapel were also open. I meet her at the head of the aisle, we greet the parents, walk up front, lots of words, readings by Audrey and Hope complete with baby quietly on shoulder (another friend of Russet's, Sally (also a former roomie) stood up as Maid of Honor), light the unity candle, give the rings, more words, kiss, and it's done. Back down the aisle, lots of laughing, shaking hands, hugging, Terry taking more pictures, etc.
It was a very good service. The minister sent us a checklist of phrase passages that could be incorporated into the ceremony, Russ and I independently checked the ones that we liked, Russ met with the minister and they worked out a draft. Same with the vows, I sent a suggestion, Russ modified it, then worked with the minister. We really liked the service and our vows, they were pretty much perfect for what we wanted.
After the service was a luncheon at a very good local restaurant where the McMillan family is very well known. We had a bit of a problem with the cake, I'm not sure why but the topper wouldn't stay on top of the cake. We ended up leaving it off. Audrey made an absolutely beautiful speech to start it off, then Russet's dad made a very moving speech, followed by my Dad making a little speech and giving Brian & Clare a pair of wood bowls that he made (see his web site for other examples of his work). Unfortunately I don't think photos were taken of said bowls and I'd never seen them before, so they won't be on the web site.
They were gorgeous, and we also got to tell the joke of Russet asking me how the turquoise got in the bowls, and my telling her that it was a turquoise tree. You see, Arizona has a high mineral content to its water...
Dinner breaks up, everyone flees to their respective holes to enjoy a bit of digestive torpor. Russ and I go back to the Inn to get into more comfortable clothes, it's now not quite 4pm. I change out of my tux and Audrey packs it away to take back to Phoenix with her when she leaves Sunday. I download pictures from our two digital cameras to my laptop (then later to hers) so I can flip through them at my leisure. Eventually Russ shows up, she had to wait for her sister to show up with her packed bag. Audrey and Terry take off on a couple of errands while Russ, Michelle and I crash for a little while: Michelle reads, Russ naps, I play with computers.
Audrey and Terry show up again and I make the executive decision that we're all going to the Chinese place that Russ and I went to Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I don't recall which off-hand. Hope and Joy join us, unfortunately we can't get ahold of Sally, her husband is also a PhD (an acoustician, Sally is a PhD in astronomy) and she has a really cute daughter who is the same age as my youngest niece (5) and the same age as my oldest niece (Alex). Dinner was good, but we should have done what we normally do for huge Chinese meals, i.e. order half as many entrees as people. Tons of leftovers!
Eventually we leave Oberlin, it's around 9:30 IIRC. We get to our hotel in Elyria where we stayed Saturday night, it had free DSL and a hot tub in the room! Very nice. It was an unremarkable room, but it has become my fairly firm belief that the first night after a wedding is mainly for the bride and groom to SLEEP. Yes, fun post-ceremony nookie was nooked, but mainly we slept.
Sunday we eventually drag ourselves out of the hotel and drive across the mall to Applebee's for lunch before heading for the ferry and our island bed & breakfast for the next three nights. We're seated right next to the entrance and maybe half way through our meal when Russ says 'Gee, I think we know those people' and in walks my Mom & Dad.
It was pretty funny and surprising. Their hotel was right next to the mall and they were comfortable with Applebee's, so it was easy comfort food for them. They joined us, we talked, told them of our activities in Oberlin after the wedding, then parted. Nookie was not a topic, though I was pleased when I later saw a mirror and confirmed that a hickey that Russ gave me on my collar bone was not visible, though chances are my Mom might have been familiar with them.
So we get to the ferry, cross part of Lake Eerie, and get to the bed and breakfast. Russ naps, I read, I write, Russ wakes, we go to dinner, huge storm moves in, and I'm sitting on the back porch of the B&B finishing up this entry. And I'm not in trouble because Russ was sitting opposite me working on the NY Times crossword on her Apple Powerbook.
Conveniently our hostess was on the porch with friends when we arrived and told us that they have WiFi from their office in the garage and that her brother frequently gets it from another porch. Unfortunately I just lost the signal, so who knows when I'll get this posted. It's a pretty weak signal, so we'll see if I can reacquire it.
Currently the plan is to shlep around the island Monday, go to Cedar Point Amusement Park Tuesday, and we head back to Oberlin Wednesday for my flight back Thursday. A quick side trip to WalMart to pick up my wedding pix (all double-printed and on CD-Rom).
Then my wife and I separate after five days of marriage. She drives back to NM, and we don't see each other until the 4th of July weekend. Sigh.
I can't really say that I thought this day would ever come. I've had a few girlfriends whom I thought would be marriage material and a couple of pretty bad heartbreaks from that, but meeting Russet really changed things. It's trite of me to constantly quote lines from movies, but sometimes the lines are just too good. Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets said, "You make me want to be a better man." Heck of a line. I knew from early on that Russ was the woman for me, and Saturday the 4th we made it official.
There were no further serious hiccups on the way to the chapel. The final monkey wrench was a voicemail from my parents at 10:30am. They were at the airport, Dad called and said to check my email. So I went online. The message was pretty short and succinct: my brother was not coming.
I have suspicions as to why, I don't know for certain as I have not yet spoken with him. At least he sent his video camera down. We were able to find someone Thursday to operate it, I haven't seen the tape yet, I hope it's decent. I don't expect it to be any great shakes, I was hoping my brother could put together a pretty good video, but now I doubt that will happen.
My parents arrived Thursday afternoon as did my Best Man, Audrey. My Mom, as previously mentioned, baked the wedding cakes in Phoenix and flew them down. She had no problem getting them past security, but they did suffer slightly in transit. They came over Thursday night for a little dinner at Russet's parent's house, it was a good meeting all-in-all. Russ and I couldn't convince her mother that my parents were fine with casual settings – it seemed that both parents were more concerned about appearances than Russ and I were. Sigh. Her mother brought out the family silver for deli sandwiches.
The meeting of the parents went quite well, my Dad and Brian really hit it off. We set them properly next to each other as they are both deaf in one ear, conveniently it's the opposite, so they didn't have too many problems. I think Brian's accent took a little getting used to for my dad, that was about it.
Thursday night we linked up with Audrey after we got my gear moved to a bed & breakfast down the street called the Shurtleff Cottage. A freakin' amazing place, if you're ever in Oberlin, I would definitely recommend it. It's not cheap at about $125 a night, but it's just gorgeous. I wanted to take pictures of it but just didn't have time.
Apparently Shurtleff was a Union general who formed the first "Colored" Brigade. I don't know much about him, but he survived the Civil War and that is in and of itself a measure of success. Oberlin was the northern terminal of the Underground Railroad and very progressive on ideas of eliminating racism and sexism, I read that they had the first college that accepted both blacks and women.
Russet's father described Ohio as the Northern-most Southern state, the Southern-most Northern state, and the same for East & West. I found the description amusing.
Two other planned arrivals Thursday were Terry & Debora from Omaha, Terry used to be a neighbor to Audrey and I and would fill in as photographer. Deb pitched in a hand on that front also, and I'm glad she did. She got some very good shots. Terry didn't think that they would arrive until probably after 11pm. We get to Audrey's room at the Oberlin Inn (also a good place to stay) and she was on the cell phone with someone and hung up as we arrived. As it turned out, Terry was in the room directly across the hall, he tried to scare Russet but she's pretty unflappable.
So Audrey and I got to introduce Russet to Terry & Deb. We sat around BSing for a good two hours, finally Russ had to get home and to bed, I needed sleep, too. We split up and eventually Friday came.
I walked down to Russet's parent's house Friday AM, got there about 11. She needed me to clean out the back of her car as she would be picking up one of her two out of town guests at the airport, Hope, and Hope's six-month old baby, Joy. Hope was a college roomie who became a general practitioner MD. It took her a while but she made it back in time for our rehearsal that afternoon. My sister and clan and Michelle would arrive later that afternoon and were renting cars, they weren't needed for the rehearsal. Mom and Dad got the cakes back in the freezer Thursday night, so Mom started on finishing up the cakes. I expected it to be about a three hour job, it took seven.
Dad took me to the Inn and dropped me off to meet Hope and Joy. Russ had arranged it for us to have lunch so Hope could get to know me, I walk in to the room and Hope asks me what I like to eat. So I told her pretty much anything except olives and mushrooms. As it turns out I had misheard, she had asked me what I liked to READ.
Sometimes having spotty hearing can be kind of amusing.
I took advantage of Dad taking me to the Inn to show him where the chapel was. Russ took me there the day before, and it is a beaut! Fantastic little place. That afternoon we had the rehearsal, clarified a few spots in the service, and Terry was shooting away with three cameras: two 35mm Olympus OM-1s, a Minolta APS camera, and Audrey's Eos Digital Rebel (all in all, he shot seven rolls of 35mm and two APS, I'll be picking them up Wednesday, all double-printed and scanned to CD).
Thursday night was a dinner for the out-of-towners. Russ and I, my parents, Audrey, Terry & Deb, Michelle, and Hope & Joy. We went to perhaps the best restaurant in town, and I say that in all honesty as they are in the Zagat Survey. It's allegedly a Chinese restaurant, but in reality it's Chinese/American fusion. Regardless of what you care to call the food, it was great! We had a private room literally underground, we started calling it the bomb shelter because it blocked all cell phones.
We spent two and a half hours over dinner and dessert and had much fun. Before appetizers were served, I took the opportunity to embarrass Audrey and present her with a card and her Best Man's present. Allegedly said present is to be given at the bachelor's party, but I didn't want to do it that way. The gift blew her away – a framed single stock for Harley Davidson. It's very pretty.
It really was a continuation of my bachelor party with a slightly different mix of characters.
Once we left the restaurant, my parent's went back to their hotel and the reset of us went back to Audrey & Michelle's room at the Inn for a continuation of the BS. Hope retired as Joy needed to be put to bed, she'd been quite well-behaved throughout dinner. Eventually we broke up, I think it was around 11:30, Audrey drove me back to my B&B as she needed to know where to go in order to pick me up in the AM. We had already taken Russet's dress to Hope's room and my tux to Audrey & Michelle's, so most of our pre-positioning was already in place.
Needless to say, I didn't go straight to sleep. I had been quite pleased and surprised to find a comicbook/game store in Oberlin that also rented DVDs. They had a Kevin Smith DVD that was a compilation of talks, really Q&A sessions, that he'd held at various colleges across the country. Very amusing video, I might buy it if I stumble across a copy. I didn't quite get it finished before I turned in. Very convenient having a laptop that has a DVD drive, though that's now rapidly becoming a standard feature.
Friday dawned with Audrey showing up for breakfast after I'd showered and shaved. We had lots of fun, got me packed up and off to the Inn. It turns out that I'd left the DVD behind, Audrey picked it up later Saturday and returned it for me. Anyway, got to the Inn, got dressed, Michelle touched up my beard trimming, and we got to the chapel about 45 minutes before the wedding.
Aside from making sure everything was ready, we also wanted to get camera equipment unpacked and checked out. This chapel has a cool organ loft in addition to an organ in the front of the chapel, both are pipe organs. Russet's music teacher from the second grade on played piano for us, that was immeasurably cool. It also happened that it was her birthday. So not only was it our wedding day, it was her music teacher's bday, her parent's 53rd anniversary, any my niece Jaclyn's 13th birthday. Pretty cool, eh?
I took my camera (also a Canon Eos Digital Rebel) to the loft along with my laptop and set it up on interval photography, it would take one frame every minute, so I have a sequence of everything. I'm planning on turning it into an MPEG, instant wedding in 40 or 80 seconds.
Eventually the time came. Parents had been seated by Audrey, minister and I go up the side aisle, best man and maid of honor come up the center aisle, the traditional 'Here Comes The Bride' breaks out and Russet is in the doorway, backlit because the outside set of doors to the chapel were also open. I meet her at the head of the aisle, we greet the parents, walk up front, lots of words, readings by Audrey and Hope complete with baby quietly on shoulder (another friend of Russet's, Sally (also a former roomie) stood up as Maid of Honor), light the unity candle, give the rings, more words, kiss, and it's done. Back down the aisle, lots of laughing, shaking hands, hugging, Terry taking more pictures, etc.
It was a very good service. The minister sent us a checklist of phrase passages that could be incorporated into the ceremony, Russ and I independently checked the ones that we liked, Russ met with the minister and they worked out a draft. Same with the vows, I sent a suggestion, Russ modified it, then worked with the minister. We really liked the service and our vows, they were pretty much perfect for what we wanted.
After the service was a luncheon at a very good local restaurant where the McMillan family is very well known. We had a bit of a problem with the cake, I'm not sure why but the topper wouldn't stay on top of the cake. We ended up leaving it off. Audrey made an absolutely beautiful speech to start it off, then Russet's dad made a very moving speech, followed by my Dad making a little speech and giving Brian & Clare a pair of wood bowls that he made (see his web site for other examples of his work). Unfortunately I don't think photos were taken of said bowls and I'd never seen them before, so they won't be on the web site.
They were gorgeous, and we also got to tell the joke of Russet asking me how the turquoise got in the bowls, and my telling her that it was a turquoise tree. You see, Arizona has a high mineral content to its water...
Dinner breaks up, everyone flees to their respective holes to enjoy a bit of digestive torpor. Russ and I go back to the Inn to get into more comfortable clothes, it's now not quite 4pm. I change out of my tux and Audrey packs it away to take back to Phoenix with her when she leaves Sunday. I download pictures from our two digital cameras to my laptop (then later to hers) so I can flip through them at my leisure. Eventually Russ shows up, she had to wait for her sister to show up with her packed bag. Audrey and Terry take off on a couple of errands while Russ, Michelle and I crash for a little while: Michelle reads, Russ naps, I play with computers.
Audrey and Terry show up again and I make the executive decision that we're all going to the Chinese place that Russ and I went to Saturday or Sunday afternoon, I don't recall which off-hand. Hope and Joy join us, unfortunately we can't get ahold of Sally, her husband is also a PhD (an acoustician, Sally is a PhD in astronomy) and she has a really cute daughter who is the same age as my youngest niece (5) and the same age as my oldest niece (Alex). Dinner was good, but we should have done what we normally do for huge Chinese meals, i.e. order half as many entrees as people. Tons of leftovers!
Eventually we leave Oberlin, it's around 9:30 IIRC. We get to our hotel in Elyria where we stayed Saturday night, it had free DSL and a hot tub in the room! Very nice. It was an unremarkable room, but it has become my fairly firm belief that the first night after a wedding is mainly for the bride and groom to SLEEP. Yes, fun post-ceremony nookie was nooked, but mainly we slept.
Sunday we eventually drag ourselves out of the hotel and drive across the mall to Applebee's for lunch before heading for the ferry and our island bed & breakfast for the next three nights. We're seated right next to the entrance and maybe half way through our meal when Russ says 'Gee, I think we know those people' and in walks my Mom & Dad.
It was pretty funny and surprising. Their hotel was right next to the mall and they were comfortable with Applebee's, so it was easy comfort food for them. They joined us, we talked, told them of our activities in Oberlin after the wedding, then parted. Nookie was not a topic, though I was pleased when I later saw a mirror and confirmed that a hickey that Russ gave me on my collar bone was not visible, though chances are my Mom might have been familiar with them.
So we get to the ferry, cross part of Lake Eerie, and get to the bed and breakfast. Russ naps, I read, I write, Russ wakes, we go to dinner, huge storm moves in, and I'm sitting on the back porch of the B&B finishing up this entry. And I'm not in trouble because Russ was sitting opposite me working on the NY Times crossword on her Apple Powerbook.
Conveniently our hostess was on the porch with friends when we arrived and told us that they have WiFi from their office in the garage and that her brother frequently gets it from another porch. Unfortunately I just lost the signal, so who knows when I'll get this posted. It's a pretty weak signal, so we'll see if I can reacquire it.
Currently the plan is to shlep around the island Monday, go to Cedar Point Amusement Park Tuesday, and we head back to Oberlin Wednesday for my flight back Thursday. A quick side trip to WalMart to pick up my wedding pix (all double-printed and on CD-Rom).
Then my wife and I separate after five days of marriage. She drives back to NM, and we don't see each other until the 4th of July weekend. Sigh.
